F-35 can’t believe how much the military spends on transgender troops

An F-35 fighter jet can’t believe how much transgender troops cost the military, after it looked up the figures following tweets from President Donald Trump saying they should no longer serve due to the price tag.

“They spend how much on transgender medical services? $8.4 million? My God that’s like four screws and a couple of bolts on my ejection seat,” the F-35 told reporters, in between sips of cognac during its lunch break. “I’m so glad Trump is ending this disgraceful waste of military spending.”

Trump on Wednesday announced a change in policy for transgender service members in the traditional method of past presidents, by tweeting out his guidance following extensive inter-agency policy discussions on the issue with himself. The Pentagon referred all questions back to the White House since so many people in the building were discussing the change and have been busy doing so for the past 10 minutes.

The F-35, for its part, supported the president’s announced ban on transgender service members, since it would save the Pentagon a huge amount of money that it could spend elsewhere in meaningful ways, like continuing to lose the war in Afghanistan.

“I can’t believe they’re going to pay $140,000 just for some guy to get his dick chopped off, when they could use that money to keep me in the air for 10 whole seconds,” the F-35 said.

Spc. Jason Binghamton, a soldier stationed overseas in Afghanistan that’s costing the Pentagon about $1 million annually, was also shocked by the budget-busting figure of transgender medical services.

“Doesn’t the DoD have better things to spend its money on? With this money going to transgender people we could get like two bombs to drop on the Taliban that would have no strategic impact.”

Justin Coates contributed reporting.


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