Paul

Paul is a former Marine grunt with eight years of experience -- specializing in snapping necks and cashing checks. He enjoys blowing things up, making people laugh, and hardcore gangster rap music.

Last Tweet:Damn straight. Related: http://t.co/3OadqmY0vp http://t.co/XOXrbbl2rM

Paul has written 115 article(s).

Unemployed Veteran: Wow, I’m So Happy The Unemployment Rate Dropped

by Paul

The following is an opinion piece written by Jason Sievers, a veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan now living in his parent’s basement. Hey, did you hear the news? The unemployment rate for Post-9/11 veterans was only 7.5 percent in April. That’s down from 9.25 in March. I must say, I’m absolutely ecstatic. In fact, I [...]

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You Know What? Screw It, Everyone’s Gonna Wear Three Reflective Belts At All Times

by Paul

The following is an opinion piece by Sergeant Major of the Army Raymond F. Chandler III. You know what soldiers? I’m sick and tired of this crap. You want to keep complaining about having to wear reflective belts? You don’t like that you have to wear the thing in Afghanistan in the middle of a [...]

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Marine Corps Struggles To Keep Up With Massive Influx Of Female Volunteers For Infantry

by Paul

QUANTICO, VA — Marine Corps officials confirmed Monday they were having a difficult time keeping up with the thousands of females applying to the Infantry Officer Course, with some speculating on possibly hiring additional staff to keep up. “Ever since Panetta ended the ban on women in combat, they’ve been signing up like crazy,” said [...]

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Air Force Grounds $345 Billion Experimental Uniform Program

by Paul

ARLINGTON, VA — Air Force officials confirmed Monday that they would be grounding the entire Experimental Uniform fleet after problems were discovered on one of the zippers, the latest setback amid a string of recent disasters. Test wearers first noticed the problem during a routine maintenance wear, while attempting to use the bathroom. When airmen [...]

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Drunken Secretary Hagel Asks Deputy To Cover For Him At Pentagon Formation

by Paul

THE PENTAGON — A visibly tired and still intoxicated Chuck Hagel pleaded with his Deputy Secretary of Defense this morning to cover for him at The Pentagon’s morning formation, according to multiple eyewitnesses. “Oh fuck me, what am I doing with my life?,” asked Hagel, still rubbing his bloodshot eyes and attempting to recall what [...]

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General Worried About Finding Job As Lobbyist, Defense Consultant After Retirement

by Paul

CAMP SMITH, HI — Sources revealed today that a top U.S. Marine General is “extremely hesitant” about plans for his possible retirement, indicating a greater problem with military transition assistance programs. General John Murphy, the former commander of Fleet Marine Forces-Pacific, is looking toward a future in the private sector, but he says he may [...]

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Air Force Releases ‘Top Drone’ Recruiting Film [VIDEO]

by Paul

Are you ready to ride the highway to the non-danger zone? Read the full profile of the elite drone operator school here. This application requires JavaScript.

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