SECDEF: The dog ate my orders book
THE PENTAGRAM — Today Secretary of Defense Mark T. Esper told President Trump that critical instructions to military units worldwide were delayed because a dog ate his Orders Book.
“I’m sorry,” Esper reportedly told the president, “but because of that dog, we no longer have your orders to bomb the new Chinese island bases in the South China Sea, or to send Title 10 troops to clean out Portland, or to ‘Make Fort Hood Great Again,’” as Trump reportedly demanded.
The Secretary of Defense’s Orders Book (SDOB) — little known outside Joint Staff circles — is part of the military’s adaptive planning and execution enterprise where force sourcing and execution are directed. In other words, it’s a big deal and not something a dog should eat.
But, according to veteran dogs and colonels interviewed at the Pentagon animal shelter, it also causes indigestion that can lead to deadly mission bloat. It can also make Joint planners leap out of high windows in every time zone around the world, the very min…
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Duffel Blog to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.