SECDEF: The dog ate my orders book

THE PENTAGRAM — Today Secretary of Defense Mark T. Esper told President Trump that critical instructions to military units worldwide were delayed because a dog ate his Orders Book. “I’m sorry,” Esper reportedly told the president, “but because of that dog, we no longer have your orders to bomb the new Chinese island bases in the South China Sea, or to send Title 10 troops to clean out Portland, or to ‘Make Fort Hood Great Again,’” as Trump reportedly demanded.

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