Man Who Puked All Over Roommate's Clothes Mo…

FORT HOOD — A man who got piss-drunk and barfed all over his roommate's entire closet just months ago has successfully checked into your unit and will likely be a huge factor as to whether you live or die in a combat zone, sources confirmed today. The man, Ian Hendricks, of Charlotte, N.C., who once wore only a toga and over-sized sunglasses while performing a keg stand at an Arizona State University fraternity party, now wears second lieutenant bars and is tasked with enormous responsibilities, to include trying hard not to get you killed.

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