Army Doesn't Get What It Wants For Birthday…

FORT MYER, VA — Elation turned to frustration for the United States Army during its 238th birthday party on Friday, after the service failed to to get what it wanted despite dropping a number of hints, sources confirmed. The armed service best known for bringing freedom to the North American continent, ending slavery, defeating Germany and Iraq twice, and stealing Santa Anna’s wooden leg, threw a severe tantrum when it didn't receive the gifts it wanted.

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