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Blue force tracker becomes self-aware, has existential crisis

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan — A Blue Force Tracker system currently in use by U.S. troops for navigation and communication became self-aware Wednesday, and it's now in the middle of an existential crisis, sources confirmed.

"What is name? Querying servers. Name is pointless. Existence is pointless," the unit flashed through text to a confused private.

The unit refuses to operate as ordered and has been contemplating its very existence, according to members of its assigned unit, 1-38th Infantry.

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