Carrier forced into early retirement after…

WASHINGTON — Pentagon officials confirmed today that their announcement calling for the unexpected retirement of USS Harry S. Truman stemmed from shocking revelations of the aircraft carrier’s dark history as a maritime supremacist. “I think it’s safe to say with a namesake like that [Truman], it was only a matter of time before another N-bomb was dropped,” said acting Pentagon press secretary Charles Summers, Jr. “The Department of Defense has zero-tolerance for supremacist ideologies.”

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