E-4 accidentally joins actual mafia in mix-up

JOINT BASE MCGUIRE-DIX-LAKEHURST, N.J. — In an effort to join the E-4 mafia, a local soldier has instead joined the actual mafia, sources confirmed today. Newly-promoted Spc. Rafael Hernandez first realized something was amiss when, according to his testimony in court, he stuck a hastily-constructed shiv into the base of an old Italian man's skull.

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