FORT BRAGG, N.C. —Expert land navigator and platoon leader First Lt. Keith Knoll is lost on the hunt for his girlfriend’s g-spot, sources say.

Lt. Knoll reportedly searched for it for an enduring four minutes last Friday night.

“I don’t get how I could’ve missed it,” lamented Knoll. “I plotted the point, shot my azimuth, and, yes, I adjusted for magnetic declination. I made use of terrain features and counted my paces aloud. I even wore my new headlamp.”