F-35 Blows New Year's Resolution, Gains $25 …

LANCASTER, Calif. — The F-35 is experiencing yet another setback in development after reportedly blowing its New Year's resolution of "losing a couple billion dollars" in just the first few days of the calendar year. Joining nearly 92% of Americans who fail to achieve their New Year's resolution, the F-35 was reportedly found alone in a dark hangar at the far end of an Edwards Air Force Base runway gorging itself on taxpayer dollars in silent shame.

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