Fox News viewer in crisis after white…

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — A local Fox News viewer and self-proclaimed patriot has been gripped by panic and indecision upon hearing that a white police officer recently shot and killed an unarmed black soldier, sources confirmed today. Harvey McClintock — whose pickup truck window stickers feature the Confederate Flag and slogans like "Support the Troops," "Back the Blue," and "From my cold, dead hands" — heard the tragic story just yesterday evening.

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