ISIS Grudgingly Admits Half Its 71 Soldiers…

RAQQA, SYRIA — Despite the aspiring global caliphate’s best efforts to keep its militants disciplined and focused solely on worldwide jihad, the Islamic State admitted today that nearly half of the 71 soldiers it purports to have operating in the U.S. have already blown through their per diem pay, taken on dependent wives, and now find themselves heavily in debt to the tune of more than $50,000, on average.

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