Marine totally could have made US Olympic…

CAMP PENDLETON, Calif. — Were it not for the fact that he had a thing with his ankle, and he was super busy that other time, Lance Cpl. Steve Dietrich totally could have made the US Olympic team in six different sports, sources confirmed today. “Luge, skeleton, and bobsled are basically sledding, dude, and I was a friggin’ champ at that when I was a kid,” Dietrich told his friends in the barracks during the opening ceremonies. “I could sled like a mofo and fly down this massive hill behind our school.”

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