Military members disappointed to learn Heave…

PARADISE — U.S. service members entering the afterlife note all is not well beyond the Pearly Gates. “I always thought eternal rest meant, well, peace and quiet and maybe some beers by the lake for a couple hundred years,” said former U.S. Army Spc. Paul Linscome. “Instead, I got there and St. Peter had me do a sensitive items inventory of all my gear, by serial number and everything. Then he sent me off to paint rocks on the border of heaven and purgatory.”

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