Nation's defense contractors promise no atta…

WASHINGTON — Following calls for revenge after a U.S. strike which killed Iranian General Qassem Soleimani, American defense contractors have promised that no attacks against the U.S. will go unprofitable. "Let us assure the American people right now, any strike against the United States and its citizens will be met with swift and costly acquisitions programs," said Raytheon spokesman Derg Douglas. "With the full weight of our lobbying and manufacturing infrastructure behind us, Congre—I mean Iran will have no choice but to bend to our will."

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