WASHINGTON — Citing the importance of recruiting in the 18 to 24-year-old demographic, the U.S. Navy has updated its policy to allow sailors to wear man-buns while in uniform, sources confirmed today.

“We need to open our gates to the best and brightest candidates,” said Adm. John Richardson, chief of naval operations. “So what if they laze around in coffee shops writing half-finished screenplays and delaying adulthood into their thirties? It’s our job to adapt to them.”

The change is not without its critics, most notably a cacophony of older veterans leaving “glad I got out when I did” comments on the Navy’s public Facebook page. Yet recruiting has already skyrocketed in bougie urban centers across America.

“I mean, war-fighters have been wearing long hair for millennia, it’s about time we return to our roots,” argued Surface Warfare Officer and medieval sword enthusiast, Lt. j.g. Chester Bartley, whose shipmates say looks less like television Viking, Ragnar Lothbrok and more like Hilda…