Navy approves man-buns for sailors

WASHINGTON — Citing the importance of recruiting in the 18 to 24-year-old demographic, the U.S. Navy has updated its policy to allow sailors to wear man-buns while in uniform, sources confirmed today. “We need to open our gates to the best and brightest candidates,” said Adm. John Richardson, chief of naval operations. “So what if they laze around in coffee shops writing half-finished screenplays and delaying adulthood into their thirties? It’s our job to adapt to them.”

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