Navy warns sailors who can’t deploy that the…

SAN DIEGO — Non-deployable sailors can breathe a heavy sigh of relief as Navy officials plan to implement its new “Deploy or Get Promoted” policy, sources confirmed today. The new policy, deemed ingenious by CNN military analysts, will ensure the Navy floods its upper ranks with sailors who are injured, lazy, PT-failing, work-averse as a threat to motivate them to become deployable. Senior Navy leaders are optimistic.

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