New Urinalysis Tests Whether Military Members 'Actually Give A Shit'

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Forget about getting busted for cocaine, weed, or ecstasy — the Department of Defense can now tell if you don't give a fuck.

DoD announced plans Wednesday to roll out a new urinalysis program that will be able to test for apathy. By examining a mere 30 ml of urine, drug testing laboratories can now pick up several forms of "not giving …