New Urinalysis Tests Whether Military Members…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Forget about getting busted for cocaine, weed, or ecstasy — the Department of Defense can now tell if you don't give a fuck. DoD announced plans Wednesday to roll out a new urinalysis program that will be able to test for apathy. By examining a mere 30 ml of urine, drug testing laboratories can now pick up several forms of "not giving a shit" to include service, command, and subordinate apathy.

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