Obama Appeals For Calm As Assad Wreaks Havoc…

DAMASCUS, SYRIA — President Obama urged calm Tuesday and insisted all was well in response to disruption of the annual Homecoming Parade by Syrian leader Bashar Al Assad and his unruly fraternity of fellow dictators. Assad and his allies had been expelled to the fringe of the international community, but seized on the highly-publicized event as a chance to make what they described as "a really futile and stupid gesture."

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