Enraged Pope Vows To Enlist In The French Fo…

VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis has vowed to enlist in the French Foreign Legion and deploy to Syria, an unprecedented move prompted by a series of terrorist attacks by ISIS, Duffel Blog has learned. Officials confirm that the Pope has declared himself a "conscientious objector to the existence of ISIS" and plans to take part in direct combat. Though his Eminence must first obtain an age-waiver and graduate from boot camp; a feat other heads of state can only hope to match.

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