Rage Against The Machine’s USO Concert…

KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN — A Rage Against the Machine USO reunion tour took an unexpected turn Sunday after the entire audience defected and swore allegiance to the Taliban, sources reported. Opening with their hit “Wake Up” to cheers from the audience, the song later reached the final verse, with the lyrics: “Through counter-intelligence it should be possible to pinpoint potential trouble-makers ... And neutralize them, neutralize them, neutralize them,” as the audience screamed in elation.

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