Defense Secretary Discovers Magical Realm In…

THE PENTAGON — Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel was found wandering in a disused Pentagon corridor early this morning, wearing fine royal robes and a bejeweled crown, and carrying a sword which glows in the presence of evil, sources tell Duffel Blog. The secretary kept muttering “I can’t believe it, after all these decades, I’m back among my native kind," according to medics who treated him before he was transported to Bethesda Naval Hospital for observation.

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