Report: Shitbag still at the exchange

NAVAL BASE SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Proud of how easily he’s able to avoid duty, sources confirmed Friday that total shitbag and complete waste of oxygen Seaman Brian Tyson, 21, apparently is still at the goddamn exchange. “He said he was going to ‘be real quick’ and ‘grab a few things’ but that clown has been gone for 3 hours now,” said Tyson’s supervisor Petty Officer 2nd Class Christine Turner, emphasizing her frustration that this asshat managed to sneak out yet again without anyone figuring out he’s going to spend the entire day at the NEX. “He’s probably looking at GQ magazines, browsing through the DVDs, debating on whether or not he should buy that new iPad, trying on camouflage Under Armour shirts, and just generally wasting as much time as possible until just before 1600.”

Read →

Keep reading with a 7-day free trial

Subscribe to Duffel Blog to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.