Opinion: Hey, can you stop comparing me to American soldiers?

The following is an op-ed article written by Jesus.

Seriously fam. See that guy's shirt in the picture above? Stop wearing this stupid shirt.

Ever since I met those Roman soldiers in the Garden of Gethsemane, you guys have been causing problems for me. Back then I was nice to you guys. I even told Peter to put his sword away.

But maybe I should have let hi…