FLAVORTOWN — President Donald Trump officially nominated Guy Fieri to fill the new post of Chairman of the Joint Chefs, the White house reported today.

"I was speaking with my beautiful wife Melania the other night and I realized there were no bodacious amigos advising me on oil-logged, bomb-dot-com tasty grindage," Trump told members of the media. "I have no doubt that Guy will blow our collective friggin' minds with policies that are delectable, edible, and Congressional."

Fieri's confirmation before the Senate is expected to be "easy as pie," said White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham, and that his "radical views on chomchom" spoke for themselves.

"[Mr. Fieri]'s credentials are impeccable," said Grisham. "His avantgarde thinking in the culinary battlespace really impressed the Senate Subcommittee on Agricultural Research, Nutrition, and Specialty Crops, ultimately fast-tracking his nomination."

According to subcommittee majority member John Boozman (R-AR), Fieri laid out an eff…

Trump nominates Guy Fieri as Chairman of…

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