This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Ukraine invades Russia because YOLO
KIEV — Ukrainian military forces pushed across the Russian border on Tuesday after parliament members in Kiev overwhelmingly authorized the use of force with most reasoning that "you only live once, am I right?"
"It may not pan out or go as well as we expect, and there's what, 50,000 Russian troops sitting on our border?" asked a visibly intoxicated Oleksandr Turchynov, the interim president. "But fuck it, YOLO! Let's get this party started!"
On the president's order, thousands of troops — many wearing mix-and-match uniforms and some not even carrying weapons — pushed across the border, chanting "Spring break, Moscow 2014! Wooh!"
More Stories
Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
|
Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation
Bull Winkle
|
Army Reserve adopts 'Nothing we do today is more important than lunch' as new recruiting slogan
SECDEF_Nice
|
Hegseth mistakes getting older for declining military standards
SECDEF_Nice
|
Duffel Blog’s Top 13 ideas for solving the Iran War
Duffel Blog Staff
|
Americans begin thanking troops for future service
Carl
|
Duffel Labs
A field desk of military mischief and useful bad ideas
Pentagon Buzzword Generator
Generate authentic defense jargon.
Pocket NCO
Leadership advice with a knife hand.
Navy SEAL Book Generator
One click. Instant airport bestseller.
DD-214 Fortune Teller
Your civilian future, declassified.
Military Speech Builder
Remarks for ceremonies and mandatory fun.
Veteran Benefits Finder
Find benefits you might have missed.
View all Labs tools →
