Ukraine Invades Russia Because YOLO

KIEV — Ukrainian military forces pushed across the Russian border on Tuesday after parliament members in Kiev overwhelmingly authorized the use of force with most reasoning that "you only live once, am I right?" "It may not pan out or go as well as we expect, and there's what, 50,000 Russian troops sitting on our border?" asked a visibly intoxicated Oleksandr Turchynov, the interim president. "But fuck it, YOLO! Let's get this party started!"

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