USAF changes name to ‘US As F*ck’

WASHINGTON — After 71 years, the U.S. Air Force is changing its name, the U.S. As Fuck (USAF) announced today.

The world’s premier air and space force decided on the change in response to surveys indicating that badly-needed recruits are drawn to motivational T-shirts, patriotic fantasies derived from gaming, and the hope of being considered “as fuck” as…