Trump appoints French immigrant Vladimierre …

WASHINGTON — Following President Trump's abrupt dismissal of FBI Director James Comey, a relatively little-known French immigrant named Vladimierre Poutin has been appointed as his replacement, sources say. The new appointment is a welcome salve in the wake of mass media panic over what many considered a gross abuse of executive power. Although never publicly confirmed, it was believed that Comey and the FBI were deep into an investigation of ties between the Trump administration and Russia, which, according to Poutin, "probably had nothing at all to do with [Comey] being fired."

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