YOKOSUKA, JAPAN — Sources confirmed a sailor with Commander Fleet Activities Yokosuka (CFAY) has been spending a majority of his free time in a base gym locker room trash-talking homosexuals while completely nude around other men.

Master at Arms 2nd Class Rory Cagle of CFAY’s security office reportedly spends upwards of 20 hours a week sauntering entirely unclothed up and down the corridors of the Purdy Fitness Center’s men’s locker room while preaching about his hatred of “choad smokers and sodomites.”

“Now that queers don’t have to hide being queers anymore, they’re gonna be looking to take the whole damn Navy over,” said Cagle — with one foot on a bench and his limp penis reportedly swinging back and forth the more animated he became — commenting on the repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” to a group of fellow Sailors uncomfortably rushing to get dressed.