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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 131 · Tuesday, 3 November 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth wears Eisenhower's globe as Halloween costume

Secretary says historic artifact looks better without America's allies

Spirit Halloween store to become pop-up ICE detention center

Army FRG unveils haunted house featuring spouses saying ‘I’m fine’

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Vol. 15 · No. 131

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Vol. 15 · No. 131 · Deployed worldwide

Tuesday

3 November 2026

2121 Zulu

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· Page 2

Sailor spends hours in locker room bashing gays while completely naked

Filed · 1543

YOKOSUKA, JAPAN — Sources confirmed a sailor with Commander Fleet Activities Yokosuka (CFAY) has been spending a majority of his free time in a base gym locker room trash-talking homosexuals while completely nude around other men.

Master at Arms 2nd Class Rory Cagle of CFAY’s security office reportedly spends upwards of 20 hours a week sauntering entirely unclothed up and down the corridors of the Purdy Fitness Center’s men’s locker room while preaching about his hatred of “choad smokers and sodomites.”

“Now that queers don’t have to hide being queers anymore, they’re gonna be looking to take the whole damn Navy over,” said Cagle — with one foot on a bench and his limp penis reportedly swinging back and forth the more animated he became — commenting on the repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” to a group of fellow Sailors uncomfortably rushing to get dressed.

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