Iran mines own business

Tehran says explosive devices part of ‘domestic consumption’ strategy

Apr 6, 2026 · 3 min read

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United States ends Iran war

President says conflict was ‘definitely a war’ now that it’s over

Apr 1, 2026 · 3 min read

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God too swamped with March Madness prayers to stop Iran ground war

Heavenly staff officers report prayer servers overwhelmed by bracket-related petitions

Mar 27, 2026 · 2 min read

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Guy 'monitoring situation in Iran' just looking at thirst traps

Pentagon analysts confirm regional intelligence picture increasingly shaped by Instagram Reels

Mar 18, 2026 · 2 min read

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Trump vows to sacrifice as many soldiers as it takes to distract from Epstein files

'There might even be a lot more. Who knows?' president tells nation in Oval Office address

Mar 11, 2026 · 2 min read

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Typo leads to epic furry parties all over Tehran

'I even booked a flight. Packed my wolf outfit,' Defense Secretary says.

Mar 2, 2026 · 3 min read

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Nicolás Maduro to return in Avengers: Doomsday

Marvel says former Venezuelan leader brings ‘authentic menace’ to next film.

Jan 12, 2026 · 4 min read

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Trump offers Maduro pardon for three kilos of cocaine

President says deal would be ‘tremendous,’ ‘very fair,’ and ‘honestly a win for everyone’

Jan 5, 2026 · 3 min read

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Saudi crown prince gifts Trump solid gold bone saw

Kingdom's sharp diplomatic gesture cuts through red tape and flesh

Nov 21, 2025 · 4 min read

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Trump announces CIA op in Venezuela will go off without a hitch next week

President promises ‘best, most secret invasion ever — everybody knows it’

Oct 31, 2025 · 3 min read

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US invades Venezuela after discovering massive stores of 'big booty Latinas'

Recruiting offices report record surge in male applicants aged 13 to 97

Sep 15, 2025 · 3 min read

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Trump recalls Jan 6ers to D.C.

This marks the first time a cosplay militia has been federally activated by executive order

Sep 5, 2025 · 3 min read

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ICE partners with Taliban to round up Afghan interpreters

Under the agreement, the Taliban will offer “on-the-ground expertise” in displacing and shattering the lives of former allies.

Sep 1, 2025 · 2 min read

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Trump gets Greenland in blockbuster three-way trade with Spain

Trade deadline shocker shakes up NATO division standings

Aug 8, 2025 · 2 min read

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Taliban to probe allegations of fair treatment of women

"A man should feel safe as he walks down the street, not agonizing that a woman could be around any corner."

Jun 4, 2025 · 3 min read

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Jeff and tina: Hey, uh, what in the fuck?

All we asked for was 80% compliance.

Mar 28, 2025 · 2 min read

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Hegseth orders military to paint 'Z' on all vehicles

The markings will distinguish U.S. forces from “freedom-hating and war-mongering Ukrainians,” according to Hegseth.

Mar 14, 2025 · 3 min read

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Mike Flynn appointed special envoy to the region between Putin’s ass cheeks

Senior defense officials say Flynn is an accomplished expert on the international enclave.

Feb 19, 2025 · 4 min read

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The pros and cons of a Russian propagandist serving as director of national intelligence

Pro: This will own the libs, so hard

Feb 17, 2025 · 1 min read

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NORTHCOM assures Canada new OPLAN Crimson just 'fun thought experiment'

"It’s just a fun little thought experiment for our planners to get some practice.”

Feb 12, 2025 · 3 min read

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North Korean soldier given sharpie for first time draws penis

So typical.

Jan 27, 2025 · 2 min read

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North Korean troops stunned by luxurious lifestyle of Russian counterparts

“This is what a true Communist nation looks like!” said a North Korean lieutenant.

Nov 27, 2024 · 4 min read

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