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US turns corner in Iran, finds itself in Iraq
Pentagon confirms operation continues to move ‘forward’
Apr 8, 2026 · 2 min readOpFor
Those assholes who keep planting IEDs get their own space for content, too
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God too swamped with March Madness prayers to stop Iran ground war
Heavenly staff officers report prayer servers overwhelmed by bracket-related petitions
Mar 27, 2026 · 2 min read
Guy 'monitoring situation in Iran' just looking at thirst traps
Pentagon analysts confirm regional intelligence picture increasingly shaped by Instagram Reels
Mar 18, 2026 · 2 min read
Trump vows to sacrifice as many soldiers as it takes to distract from Epstein files
'There might even be a lot more. Who knows?' president tells nation in Oval Office address
Mar 11, 2026 · 2 min read
Typo leads to epic furry parties all over Tehran
'I even booked a flight. Packed my wolf outfit,' Defense Secretary says.
Mar 2, 2026 · 3 min read
Nicolás Maduro to return in Avengers: Doomsday
Marvel says former Venezuelan leader brings ‘authentic menace’ to next film.
Jan 12, 2026 · 4 min read
Trump offers Maduro pardon for three kilos of cocaine
President says deal would be ‘tremendous,’ ‘very fair,’ and ‘honestly a win for everyone’
Jan 5, 2026 · 3 min read
Saudi crown prince gifts Trump solid gold bone saw
Kingdom's sharp diplomatic gesture cuts through red tape and flesh
Nov 21, 2025 · 4 min read
Trump announces CIA op in Venezuela will go off without a hitch next week
President promises ‘best, most secret invasion ever — everybody knows it’
Oct 31, 2025 · 3 min read
US invades Venezuela after discovering massive stores of 'big booty Latinas'
Recruiting offices report record surge in male applicants aged 13 to 97
Sep 15, 2025 · 3 min read
Trump recalls Jan 6ers to D.C.
This marks the first time a cosplay militia has been federally activated by executive order
Sep 5, 2025 · 3 min read
ICE partners with Taliban to round up Afghan interpreters
Under the agreement, the Taliban will offer “on-the-ground expertise” in displacing and shattering the lives of former allies.
Sep 1, 2025 · 2 min read
Trump gets Greenland in blockbuster three-way trade with Spain
Trade deadline shocker shakes up NATO division standings
Aug 8, 2025 · 2 min read
Taliban to probe allegations of fair treatment of women
"A man should feel safe as he walks down the street, not agonizing that a woman could be around any corner."
Jun 4, 2025 · 3 min read
Jeff and tina: Hey, uh, what in the fuck?
All we asked for was 80% compliance.
Mar 28, 2025 · 2 min read
Hegseth orders military to paint 'Z' on all vehicles
The markings will distinguish U.S. forces from “freedom-hating and war-mongering Ukrainians,” according to Hegseth.
Mar 14, 2025 · 3 min read
Mike Flynn appointed special envoy to the region between Putin’s ass cheeks
Senior defense officials say Flynn is an accomplished expert on the international enclave.
Feb 19, 2025 · 4 min read
The pros and cons of a Russian propagandist serving as director of national intelligence
Pro: This will own the libs, so hard
Feb 17, 2025 · 1 min read
NORTHCOM assures Canada new OPLAN Crimson just 'fun thought experiment'
"It’s just a fun little thought experiment for our planners to get some practice.”
Feb 12, 2025 · 3 min read
North Korean soldier given sharpie for first time draws penis
So typical.
Jan 27, 2025 · 2 min read
North Korean troops stunned by luxurious lifestyle of Russian counterparts
“This is what a true Communist nation looks like!” said a North Korean lieutenant.
Nov 27, 2024 · 4 min read
Russian Army implements mandatory 'bring your child to work' program
“You try leading a tank battalion while also finding a juice box for your kid during a mortar strike," said one lieutenant.
Nov 25, 2024 · 3 min read
Ukraine war victims glad Americans voted their conscience
“It’s just so inspiring and reassuring to see the pro-life vote out in force,” said Oksana Petrenko, a six-year-old from Mariupol.
Nov 20, 2024 · 3 min read
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