After shark attack, Coast Guard asks Congres…

WASHINGTON DC — A Coast Guard spokesperson has admitted that after the USCGC Kimball was forced to fire on a shark during the crew’s swim call, the service has told Congress: “We're gonna need a bigger boat.” “We figured that after the video went viral, it was time to take up an opportunity to beg for some of that Space Force money everyone’s talking about,” said Coast Guard spokesperson Lt. (j.g.) Manny Horvath.

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