Marine Band Condemns Anti-Sousa Heretic to…

MARINE BARRACKS WASHINGTON, D.C. – Staff Sgt. Mark Daniels, a trumpet player assigned to the "President’s Own" Band, has been stoned to death after refusing communion with Sousa, sources confirmed today. Daniels, an eight-year veteran and accomplished bandsman, was executed following remarks he made to his conductor during rehearsal proposing playing a military march not composed by John Philip Sousa.

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