Private 'Pretty Sure' His Headache Is Ebola

FORT INDIANTOWN GAP — The Pennsylvania Army National Guard placed Fort Indiantown Gap on lockdown today, after Private Patrick O’Neil reported “ebola-like symptoms” to his unit medic. “Yeah, my head is killing me, and I want to throw up,” O’Neil told reporters through his plastic isolation bubble. “I’m definitely pretty sure this is Ebola.”

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