Drug Incidents, Morale Skyrockets After Army…

THE PENTAGON — A Sergeant Major was found unconscious in a Washington brothel Sunday morning, after an all-night marathon session of sex with multiple prostitutes, fueled by large amounts of Viagra and amphetamines. A Three-Star General was arrested after a high-speed chase with Fort Detrick Military Police, who found an underage Filipino boy and over a pound of black tar heroin in the trunk of his car.

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