By Clay Beyersdorfer

U.S. Army scientists have created a new smartphone app to help soldiers navigate their driving under the influence (DUI) charges.

The “FirstStrike” app, not to be confused with the service’s well-known energy bars, was designed to help combat DUIs and those soldiers with substance abuse problems, “especially our junior enlisted,” Army spokesperson Lt. Col. Nathan Roundhead tells Duffel Blog.

“We wanted to directly combat DUIs and the overall substance abuse problem we’ve seen and flat out ignored, specifically with our younger soldiers,” Roundhead added. “What better way to do so than with a smartphone app?”

After a user enters a few details about themselves such as name and rank, the app uses the phone's GPS to automatically email blast every command sergeant major in a 10-mile radius to tell them about their latest "problem child."

FirstStrike will fully take soldiers through the military justice process, including what to say during the arrest, how to contact a lawyer, and offer financial guidance on compensating for their eventual loss of rank and pay.

The app will also be able to check the soldier’s blood alcohol content (BAC), allow police officers to call a soldier’s command directly, and automatically upload their mug shot to U.S. Army W.T.F! Moments. 

Survey results of the app were released by the Department of Defense earlier this week following FirstStrike’s Beta test earlier this year, which included the following responses:

“Extremely helpful, an app I’ll be using often.”

“My DUI, my choice.”

“AKO had quicker load times.”

Roundhead revealed that FirstStrike is just the first of a “few” applications the Army is working on, all aimed at “improving soldier morale and welfare.”

“If you think this is cool, wait until we unveil our nighttime sleeping app for those suffering from PTSD. Our soldiers are going crazy over it.”

Clay Beyersdorfer is a writer and comedian living in St. Louis. He can be seen attempting to achieve stardom at open mics or getting turned do

wn by satire editors and television producers. He tackles issues like his unhealthy obsession with food, sports ball, and living as a veteran.