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Freshly-acquitted diddy gives your weekend safety brief
Gold diggers, Bieber, and malt liquor: Diddy’s safety brief hits different
Jul 18, 2025 · 3 min readSafety Briefs
The military’s favorite tradition—long-winded weekend warnings about booze, fireworks, and bad decisions.
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Coronavirus gives your weekend safety briefing
YOUR BASE — Gather round folks. C’mon, bring it in really close. I want to cover a few topics to keep you safe as we head into the
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
Kanye west interrupts your weekend safety brief
SHAW AFB, S.C. — Hey, yo Colonel, I'm real happy for you, and I'm gonna let you finish your safety brief, but I wanted
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
Hodor of house Stark gives your weekend safety brief
WINTERFELL, Westeros — "Gather round warriors of Winterfell and prepare for the brief of safety to be given by our beloved Hodor" said Arya Stark, as the
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
Trump and Biden give your weekend safety brief
Chris Wallace: “Greetings ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the weekend safety brief. I’ll be your moderator, Chris Wallace. This afternoon’s safety brief will cover a
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Ernest Hemingway gives your weekend safety brief
Nick stood in the rain with the others to wait for the sergeant. His face was wet. It was Friday afternoon. “Of course it starts raining just as
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Lewis Carroll gives your weekend safety brief
’Twas libo, and the vaters moto Did vape and vorcot in the smits: All shitbird were the rawhide scruffs, And the Odo scribed in fits. "Beware the
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Kurt Vonnegut gives your weekend safety brief
My name is Kurt Vonnegut, and I fought in the Battle of the Bulge and came slightly unstuck in time. I’m here to give you your weekend
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min readDUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Maurice Sendak gives your weekend safety brief
The night Max wore his unicorn suit and made mischief of one kind and another his first sergeant called him "Dirt bag!" And Max said "
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Hunter s. Thompson gives your weekend safety brief
Camp Pendleton. Hours before a 72. Heavily-tattooed Marines standing in formation. All amped up for the weekend. Ready to kill. Ready to fuck. Patiently waiting to be cut
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Jack London gives your weekend safety brief
The safety briefing was a repetition of the week before, save that the need for drink was becoming overpowering to the dozing gunnery sergeant. The snarling of his
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Beyoncé gives your weekend safety brief
All the single soldiers (All the single soldiers) All the single soldiers (All the single soldiers) All the single soldiers (All the single soldiers) All the single soldiers
Oct 5, 2022 · 3 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Jane Austen gives your weekend safety brief
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single company in possession of a good four day pass, must be in want of a safety brief. However little
Oct 5, 2022 · 5 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: The beastie boys give your weekend safety brief
I can’t stand it, you know we banned it I’m-a set straight this DUI rate I can’t stand recallin’ you all back here On Saturday
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: George R.R. Martin gives your weekend safety brief
The Company Gunnery Sergeant was shouting, shouting, shouting. His voice echoed off the parade deck, while the Marines of House Kilo stood motionless at parade rest outside the
Oct 5, 2022 · 4 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: An American bald eagle gives your weekend safety brief
Keeaw-screech! Scra-eech! Scra-eech! Scra-eech! Kuk Kuk Kuk Kuk? Keeaw? Keeaw! Keeaw-screech! Scra-eech! Scra-eech!
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Rick and Morty give your weekend safety brief
Rick: Okay, listen [belch] up. I'm going to keep this short, not because I think you won't listen - I know [belch] you won&
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Elsa gives your weekend safety brief
You’re jonesing hard to go out to the bar but you haven’t heard my speech. The barracks in isolation is where you’re gonna be if
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Stephen king gives your weekend safety brief
Rubbers. Too many times I avoided the use of a prophylactic. What else can I say about this? The truth? The truth is that the first time you
Oct 5, 2022 · 3 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Salon.com gives your weekend safety brief
This is for you, the Marine, soldier, sailor, airman, or whatever other title we give to the living tools of imperialist aggression. Look on these words and the
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Rudyard Kipling gives your weekend safety brief
If yer 'eadin' down to 'Ay Street To 'ave a bit a fun Be sure to take sheepguts, Pretect yerself my son Be sure
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Mother Goose gives your weekend safety brief
Hey! Private Diddle, If it burns when you piddle, Better see the Doc by noon; The Corpsmen laughed As they punched his bore Diddle howled just like a
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Jason Vorhees gives your Friday the 13th safety brief
Chi Chi Chi Ah Ah Ah Ch Chi Chi Ah Ah Ah
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
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