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Troops say casualties in Iran should be used for maximum political impact
Service members report greater concern over optics than operational guidance
May 1, 2026 · 2 min read
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520 stories in this section
Trump awarded Medal of Honor for locating a CW5
Military stunned after warrant officer appears somewhere on time
Mar 16, 2026 · 3 min read
Warrant Officer awarded Medal of Honor for showing up on time and in uniform
First CW5 in recorded history to arrive at own award ceremony in correct uniform, citation says
Mar 6, 2026 · 2 min read
Active military forced to watch ‘Melania’ documentary at SERE school
Cadre say film is far more effective than sleep deprivation
Feb 20, 2026 · 2 min read
Sergeant Major of the Army announces new ‘I hate soldiers’ initiative
Program aims to maximize discipline, despair, and time spent not fighting wars
Feb 18, 2026 · 3 min read
Fuck! You left your I.D. Card in your computer
One minor mistake triggers cascading operational collapse
Jan 21, 2026 · 4 min read
Senior service college initiates new curriculum in strategic gaslighting
Course promises senior leaders ‘complete narrative dominance’ and zero accountability
Jan 19, 2026 · 5 min read
Military websites undergo annual update to make them worse
“We’re working hard to make the SIPR sites you need the most confusing piles of shit imaginable," an official said.
Jan 2, 2026 · 3 min read
Hegseth attends Army-Navy game in full pads
Defense Secretary insists he's “ready if they need me."
Dec 14, 2025 · 4 min read
Pentagon orders guard troops to return pay after judge rules DC mission ‘unlawful'
The ruling has sent shockwaves through the ranks, especially among those who bought essential items like divorce attorneys, energy drinks, and Zyn.
Nov 24, 2025 · 5 min read
Soldiers react positively to flavored vape pits
Troops say fruity clouds beat the smell of burning tires.
Nov 3, 2025 · 2 min read
Anonymous donor gives Pentagon 130 million cans of Skoal wintergreen to pay troops
Donation will “tide everyone over” until someone finds seven billion more cans
Oct 27, 2025 · 3 min read
Fortnite adds Tim Kennedy 'rucksack of grenades' skin
Players can unlock the skin by completing a side quest that involves lobbing at least 25 grenades at non-combatants.
Oct 17, 2025 · 3 min read
Mass shooting at Army base cancelled over government shutdown
Terror plots deemed ‘nonessential’ until Congress passes continuing resolution.
Oct 15, 2025 · 4 min read
Top 10 things you can’t buy because you're not getting paid
Congress assures troops that poverty builds character.
Oct 13, 2025 · 4 min read
General officer summit extended for K-Pop Demon Hunter singalong
Generals relieved it wasn’t a firing squad or Eyes Wide Shut reenactment
Oct 3, 2025 · 4 min read
Pentagon finds Hegseth pullups as root cause of failures in Iraq, Afghanistan
Audit finds lack of dead hang directly correlated with collapse of two nations
Aug 29, 2025 · 3 min read
National Guard mobilized to pick fruit
Governor hails “historic partnership” between citrus industry and underpaid weekend warriors
Aug 22, 2025 · 3 min read
Fort Hood promises to keep murdering soldiers, despite name change
Rebrand includes new signage, commemorative coins, and same culture of unanswered questions and haunted latrines.
Aug 6, 2025 · 2 min read
Pentagon renames fort Huachuca to fort hawk tua
The Fort’s marketing office is working with the Defense Logistics Agency to develop a new hawk mascot in Oakleys.
Jul 30, 2025 · 4 min read
Freshly-acquitted diddy gives your weekend safety brief
Gold diggers, Bieber, and malt liquor: Diddy’s safety brief hits different
Jul 18, 2025 · 3 min read
8 tattoos you can get under new Hegseth policy
Good news: Tattoos of Pete Hegseth depicted “in the Greek Style” are now allowed.
Jul 16, 2025 · 5 min read
US accidentally re-invades Iraq
Troops surprised to find old combat outposts still smell like Axe body spray
Jun 25, 2025 · 3 min read
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