Five sides, zero accountability
Senior leaders say morality must remain flexible
Officials say track captures ‘classic early-2000s invasion energy’
Experts say national focus shifted to pickleball by Friday afternoon
Pentagon confirms conflict has entered “find out” phase for both sides
Officials say mines only effective against “mentally weak” shipping crews
Officials say situation best described as “hostile situationship” to avoid congressional involvement
Pentagon analysts confirm regional intelligence picture increasingly shaped by Instagram Reels
'There might even be a lot more. Who knows?' president tells nation in Oval Office address
Unrestrained, nearly self-aware AI 'ideal' for military decision-making, NORAD commander says
'I'm starting to think America doesn't care about Great Power Competition at all,' says Chinese defense minister
'I even booked a flight. Packed my wolf outfit,' Defense Secretary says.
Pentagon confirms end state to be determined later
Pentagon reviewing tuition assistance after discovering one graduate
Pentagon says outcomes ‘indistinguishable’ from real wars
Pentagon says change will improve lethality, readability, and morale
White House says incident reflects ‘evolving interpretation of peace’
Defense secretary reportedly cites ‘global lack of standards’ as destabilizing force
White House sources say ‘bombing foreigners’ remains preferred transparency substitute
Administration says it has ‘learned valuable lessons’ and ‘stopped pretending’
“We’re working hard to make the SIPR sites you need the most confusing piles of shit imaginable," an official said.
Notorious home invader finally neutralized in Christmas Eve strike, officials say.
Pentagon staff unsure whether to update safety briefs or call a meteorologist.
“Unless it tastes good or looks cool, I am completely out of fucks to give,” said one citizen.
Despite lacking a Ranger tab, defense secretary critiques women who earned theirs
Defense Secretary allegedly confused training for a ‘how-to’ seminar.
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