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8 tattoos you can get under new Hegseth policy
Good news: Tattoos of Pete Hegseth depicted “in the Greek Style” are now allowed.
Jul 16, 2025 · 5 min read
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Army secretary decries 'PowerPoint in parade form' for Trump's birthday
Senior leaders cite “mission creep,” cosplay mishaps, and energy drinks as key factors in birthday parade debacle.
Jun 18, 2025 · 3 min read
Fort irwin to be renamed fort Hitler
Army insists it’s “a completely different Hitler,” citing strong Union loyalty and bratwurst recipes.
Jun 11, 2025 · 2 min read
Basic bitch goes to basic training
Johnson single-handedly organized a supply run for pumpkin spice latte MREs (Meals, Ready-to-Eat).
Jun 9, 2025 · 3 min read
US 'far behind in capabilities' being sold by retired general
The retired officer says that America is woefully under-resourced in a defense technology capability that is only sold by his company.
Jun 2, 2025 · 3 min read
Army study: Soldiers have bigger dicks than sailors
The USS Ronald Reagan held the record for simultaneous penis inspections, with 473 sailors participating.
May 28, 2025 · 3 min read
Zyn-Monster-condom pack sells out in minutes at PX
“I was first in line,” said Pfc. Travis Thompson, who camped overnight for the release.
May 23, 2025 · 3 min read
This gorilla learned sign language, and immediately told everyone it went to West Point
"The very first thing he signed was, ‘Dookie, Sir, West Point, Sir!’”
May 12, 2025 · 3 min read
Duffel Blog presents: The 10 dumbest military phrases
"There’s no ‘I’ in team" but there are three 'U's in "shut the f--k up"
May 2, 2025 · 3 min read
Hegseth congratulates historic last ever female to complete best Ranger competition
"I’ve personally fired every female commander I can find, and now one has completed Best Ranger?”
Apr 28, 2025 · 4 min read
Soldier who doesn't care about politics ready to deter Russian-backed Chinese Iranians
“I just want to do my job, follow orders, and not think about all that foreign policy blah blah blah.”
Apr 18, 2025 · 2 min read
Pentagon removes 54th Massachusetts from Army records as 'DEI hires'
"Recruiting an entire regiment based only on skin color? What were we thinking?”
Apr 16, 2025 · 4 min read
Pentagon renames Fort Campbell after the soup
"Remember that we are Army Strong, and we are Mmm Mmm Good.”
Apr 7, 2025 · 3 min read
Citing DEI, Pentagon ends special treatment of black mold in barracks
Black mold is now able to serve openly in the barracks with no special treatment and will be judged fairly against other barracks residents.
Apr 4, 2025 · 3 min read
Lieutenant won't shut the fuck up about IPAs
“He won’t stop,” said Sgt. Jake Mendoza, rolling his eyes.
Mar 24, 2025 · 2 min read
Pentagon offers black recruits exciting opportunities as cooks, truck drivers
"“All the DEI nonsense muddied the waters of where Black merit traditionally lies in the military," a spokesman said.
Mar 17, 2025 · 3 min read
Pentagon establishes task force of task forces to address need for task forces
“So, naturally, we formed a task force to determine whether we had too many task forces."
Mar 10, 2025 · 2 min read
GWOT reenactors gather for disconnected violence, ill-conceived civil projects
Corners remain to be turned, contracts to be awarded
Feb 21, 2025 · 6 min read
Theologians say God actually hates the infantry
"Look me in the eye and tell me God does not 100% revile the infantry."
Feb 14, 2025 · 2 min read
Duffel Blog's guide to making a horrific aviation accident about your politics
It is absolutely critical to work fast before all the facts come in.
Jan 31, 2025 · 4 min read
Department of Government Efficiency unable to find single chief warrant officer to fire
“You can’t fire me if you can’t find me,” read a note at the bottom of a coffee mug at Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune.
Jan 24, 2025 · 3 min read
SOF in crisis after POG terrorist stacks more bodies than career Green Beret
"Our nation expects only the best from SOF, including their transition to the crazed veteran life."
Jan 6, 2025 · 3 min read
Help save a fort Carson soldier from starving this holiday season
"Operation Star-Spangled Sustenance" aims to feed hungry soldiers for just $1.23 a day.
Dec 23, 2024 · 3 min read
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