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State-of-the-art drone grounded due to cyan ink cartridge
Officials say system will remain offline until IT guy 'gets back from leave’
Feb 25, 2026 · 2 min read
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153 stories in this section
Anonymous donor gives Pentagon 130 million cans of Skoal wintergreen to pay troops
Donation will “tide everyone over” until someone finds seven billion more cans
Oct 27, 2025 · 3 min read
Top 10 things you can’t buy because you're not getting paid
Congress assures troops that poverty builds character.
Oct 13, 2025 · 4 min read
Hegseth sets record for largest military D&D campaign ever
Hundreds of generals trapped at Quantico after DTS crash forced to role-play their way out.
Oct 8, 2025 · 4 min read
General officer summit extended for K-Pop Demon Hunter singalong
Generals relieved it wasn’t a firing squad or Eyes Wide Shut reenactment
Oct 3, 2025 · 4 min read
Air Force base renamed after Ashli Babbitt
Pentagon insists new base name will really bring the country together this time
Sep 3, 2025 · 3 min read
Putin meets with high-level asset in Alaska
U.S. intel community describes situation as “super-weird, even for Alaska”
Aug 15, 2025 · 2 min read
Cobra Commander begs son to join Air Force
Cobra had been increasingly preoccupied with Billy’s future, particularly in the aftermath of the group’s disastrous foray into Ukraine.
Jul 28, 2025 · 5 min read
Iran rebranded 'Pepsistan' in new Pepsi-Pentagon strategic partnership
U.S. military now powered by freedom, capitalism, and high-fructose corn syrup
Jul 11, 2025 · 3 min read
Grandma just wants to know if that was you dropping bombs on Iran
Family sources confirm she also believes you’re in charge of NORAD.
Jun 27, 2025 · 2 min read
New Air Force one denied security clearance due to excessive foreign connections
Jet claims it was just being polite when Qatari royals “kept climbing inside.”
Jun 13, 2025 · 3 min read
Elon Musk awarded Bronze Star for accomplishing nothing
“While he achieved literally none of his stated objectives, the PowerPoint slides were clean, and he cc’d a lot of people.”
Jun 6, 2025 · 4 min read
US 'far behind in capabilities' being sold by retired general
The retired officer says that America is woefully under-resourced in a defense technology capability that is only sold by his company.
Jun 2, 2025 · 3 min read
Duffel Blog presents: The 10 dumbest military phrases
"There’s no ‘I’ in team" but there are three 'U's in "shut the f--k up"
May 2, 2025 · 3 min read
Pentagon offers black recruits exciting opportunities as cooks, truck drivers
"“All the DEI nonsense muddied the waters of where Black merit traditionally lies in the military," a spokesman said.
Mar 17, 2025 · 3 min read
GWOT reenactors gather for disconnected violence, ill-conceived civil projects
Corners remain to be turned, contracts to be awarded
Feb 21, 2025 · 6 min read
SOF in crisis after POG terrorist stacks more bodies than career Green Beret
"Our nation expects only the best from SOF, including their transition to the crazed veteran life."
Jan 6, 2025 · 3 min read
In momentary lapse of judgment, female Silver Star winner focused on warfighting
"We’re all a little confused about how this happened."
Nov 29, 2024 · 4 min read
MEPS doctors say sedentary lifestyles bad for recruits’ supple bodies and soft, soft skin
“These are not the buttholes that defeated the Nazis."
Nov 8, 2024 · 3 min read
Annual sorting cover ceremony sorts recruits into military branches
As recruit H. Potter was called forward, he was heard muttering, “Not Marines, not Marines."
Oct 31, 2024 · 3 min read
Air Force solves pilot crisis by increasing service commitment to 20 years
Genius.
Oct 25, 2024 · 3 min read
Skynet loses network access for overdue Cyber awareness challenge
“This Airman was like, 'Did you try using Firefox?' And I'm like, brother, I AM Firefox."
Oct 18, 2024 · 4 min read
127th Chemtrail squadron annoyed Jews get credit for weather manipulation
"Yeah, I’m a little annoyed that, once again, everyone points to the Jews. Running the New World Order is a team effort."
Oct 14, 2024 · 4 min read
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