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Homeless veteran turns to prostitution to support WMD addiction
Officials warn illicit weapons of mass destruction flooding American streets are increasingly low-grade
May 22, 2026 · 1 min read
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275 stories in this section
New 'Bachelor' revealed as veteran with 100% disability rating
Producers say format changes will better reflect “modern realities of dating and federal benefits”
May 6, 2026 · 2 min read
'Persian Wife Finder' sees spike in white males aged 18-25
Pentagon says surge in interest ‘not an official line of effort’
Apr 15, 2026 · 2 min read
VA benefits reduced to 9mm and bottle of bourbon
Secretary says package ‘covers most needs’ and ‘cuts out a lot of paperwork’
Feb 16, 2026 · 4 min read
ICE recruiters complain not enough candidates fail the ASVAB
Agency warns talent pool ‘dangerously close to functional literacy’
Feb 4, 2026 · 4 min read
Vet T-shirt company releases ‘shall be infringed’ line
Company says shift reflects ‘evolving understanding of constitutional rights’
Jan 28, 2026 · 3 min read
Study confirms best time to be in military was exactly 5 years before you joined
Every generation agrees: yours ruined everything.
Nov 26, 2025 · 2 min read
Guy who almost joined military now enjoying career as ICE agent
He may still join the military, but only after his mom gets back from Bingo.
Nov 19, 2025 · 5 min read
Stephen Miller calls ICE on commissary baggers for asking him to tip
“He screamed that tipping was socialism and threw a can of creamed corn at the nearest enlisted kid.”
Nov 12, 2025 · 3 min read
Inside the race to design the douchiest Department of War t-shirt
Pete Hegseth demands designs that are ‘super fucking lethal.’
Sep 22, 2025 · 3 min read
Green Beans calls up reserve baristas
Company pledges espresso superiority across all combat zones.
Jul 23, 2025 · 3 min read
VA launches negative disability ratings to fill budget gaps
“They’re going to charge me for ‘significant reduction in BMI’ due to losing my leg,” one veteran said.
Jul 9, 2025 · 4 min read
This July 4th, remember to honor veterans who lost limbs last July 4th
Officials urge Americans to keep all limbs attached until at least July 5th
Jul 4, 2025 · 3 min read
Trump declines parade march, citing sudden bone spur flare-up
Insists he's ‘more injured than most heroes’ after learning parade route involves walking.
Jun 14, 2025 · 3 min read
California bans veteran burials due to unacceptable levels of PFAS
“While the military will assuredly go on destroying the world in life, the Golden State will not allow them to do so in death,” said Gov. Newsom.
May 26, 2025 · 3 min read
Combat vet joins war on drugs
He's taking a firm stance not against, but in support of drug use.
May 21, 2025 · 3 min read
Applebee's to offer free meals only to WWI veterans
“Honoring the troops is core to our brand,” said Lauren Trent, Applebee’s Chief Marketing Officer.
May 5, 2025 · 2 min read
Man who sat out war declares war on those who didn't
"People say, ‘Oh, they risked their lives, they served their country.’ But did they ever have to convince a medical doctor to write a note? I don’t think so."
Apr 14, 2025 · 4 min read
Duffel Blog’s guide to joining a foreign military
Looking for a fresh start in a foreign land? We've got you covered.
Mar 21, 2025 · 5 min read
VA secretary promises to personally punch every veteran in the nutsack
“If you’re excited about these changes, just wait til you see what I do to your balls.”
Mar 12, 2025 · 3 min read
DOGE says ‘22 a day’ isn’t nearly enough
“Look, 22 a day just isn’t going to cut it,” said DOGE chief Elon Musk.
Feb 10, 2025 · 3 min read
Retiree at commissary reads entire label of Campbell’s chunky soup out loud
The soliloquy was witnessed by an audience of dozens in Aisle 3 during the lunchtime rush.
Dec 20, 2024 · 3 min read
Incoming DNI Tulsi Gabbard vows to delete 'fake' intel connecting her to Russia
Meanwhile, local IT professionals have been baffled by a sudden surge in job listings for “data sanitization experts."
Dec 11, 2024 · 3 min read
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