VFW puzzled as younger veterans refuse to join organization that hates them

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — The Veterans of Foreign Wars is facing a recruiting shortfall as younger veterans continue declining to join the organization, citing what officials describe as “a persistent misunderstanding of our culture.”

Post 690 has struggled to maintain membership this year, prompting leadership to increase outreach efforts during its annual Recruitment Week.

“First, we make it pretty clear that we are a veterans organization,” said Post 690 Commander Gerald “Gerry” Watkins. “Every man that walks through here can tell that by the dusty bar, the blaring television bingo, and the scratcher stations in the corner. Then we razz them every time they come in about how stupid GWOT is, because only Vietnam really counts. I mean, are you really going to count a war that lets girls join? You might as well be a communist.”

Officials said the strategy is designed to “build resilience” among prospective members. But according to Watkins, the approach had yet to produce results.

“It’s horse shit,” Watkins said. “These GWOT veterans keep coming in, complaining we don’t treat them like human beings, and then have the audacity not to join. I hate these younger veterans. Why won’t they join my post?”

Watkins added that recent attempts to modernize the post have also fallen short.

“We even tried letting the girls join,” he said. “Apparently they don’t like being called spouses, and they get offended if I ask to see their DD-214 when they come in. Sorry for being old fashioned.”

Historians note the VFW has faced similar recruiting challenges before. Membership declined in the 1970s as some World War II and Korean War veterans resisted admitting Vietnam veterans, arguing the conflict “wasn’t legitimate.”

“The Global War on Terrorism wasn’t even a legitimate conflict. I don’t even know why they’re here,” said VFW spokesman Robert Kincaid.

Kincaid said the organization remains confident in its long-term recruiting strategy.

“We know our numbers are down, but that’s by design,” he said. “By essentially pushing away the new generation of veterans, we know that when they are in their 50s, alcoholic, and divorced, they will find exactly what nostalgia they need in our bars— I mean posts. Wait, are you recording?”

Officials confirmed the organization plans to continue its current approach, which prioritizes “maintaining standards” by criticizing veterans who did not directly fight communism or who still “appear to have something going for them.”