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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 121 · Friday, 9 October 2026

Pentagon

DTS works properly after hack by rogue AI

Pentagon scrambling to restore slow load times, incomprehensible errors and traditional user experience

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

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Vol. 15 · No. 121

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 121 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

9 October 2026

1051 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
Safety Briefs · Page 2

Justin Timberlake gives your weekend safety brief

Guess who’s going to have to pick your nasty ass up from jail when you step out of line. It’s gonna be me.

Filed · 0503

FORT DRUM, N.Y. — Listen up, Fam! We don’t have long and I have a lot to do before my world tour, I mean liberty! 

We are coming up on the weekend and as we all know, a lot can happen. Before I say “Bye, Bye, Bye” to all of you chuckleheads, we have to go over some common sense safety tips. Starting off with an oldy but a goodie: Don’t subtract from the population or add to the population. If you aren’t ready to be a mom or dad, you know what to do

Second, keep your hands to yourselves! I know it’s tough. Sometimes you find yourself just so caught up while performing at the Pepsi Super Bowl Halftime Show but trust me, it’s not worth it. To be clear though, if you assault or manhandle a woman, she will get in trouble and you will probably be totally fine, with zero impact on your career. It’s not a great look, though. 

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