VA benefits reduced to 9mm and bottle of bourbon
Secretary says package ‘covers most needs’ and ‘cuts out a lot of paperwork’
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Secretary says package ‘covers most needs’ and ‘cuts out a lot of paperwork’
Pentagon says change will improve lethality, readability, and morale
Junior sailors unsure whether to laugh, report to NCIS, or contact The Hague
Despite lacking a Ranger tab, defense secretary critiques women who earned theirs
Every generation agrees: yours ruined everything.
"Being perpetually blitzed isn’t medically advisable,” said a Navy doctor. “But behaviorally? It tracks.”
DHS Secretary insists dog was ‘out of regs and possibly liberal.’
The service's novel approach is to recruit technologically adept virgins into the intelligence community.
“We are very proud of this milestone,” said Adm. Lisa Francetti.
So weird.
“Is Pete a cheater? Sure, but who among us isn’t?” one senator asked in front of his bewildered wife and mother of his six children.
"I have no idea why my former Congressman was here in a red convertible Mercedes."
“Honestly, that is the biggest tragedy,” said Navy recruiter and Tiktok dance sensation Petty Officer 2nd Class Drea Avila soberly.
The former president may be onto something.
“Most teens these days are too fat, stupid, and substance-addled to even be suitable for service,” said Staff Sergeant Simona Oppf.
The transition from barista to elite soldier has not been without its hiccups.
Ramming speed! All ahead full!
Guess who’s going to have to pick your nasty ass up from jail when you step out of line. It’s gonna be me.
Stop talkin' and start doin'
Putin likely correct, but many Americans concerned that DEI attacked the bridge
MCPON: "This will not stand"
Bro. Seriously though, bro. Like, a snake is all neck if you think about it.
Maybe your hot sister could move in too?
Generically attractive people to portray bland actions for basic audience
"I know there's Mexico, 'cause I drink Shootaritas down at Chuy's. There's others?"
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