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This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.

Story Roundup

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

Situation Report

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

Noem visit to LA troops ends in gunfire, K-9 fatality

DHS Secretary insists dog was ‘out of regs and possibly liberal.’

Noem visit to LA troops ends in gunfire, K-9 fatality

LOS ANGELES — The ongoing military presence in downtown Los Angeles has claimed its first casualty. Gambit, a Marine Corps working dog, was shot and killed during a visit by Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem, who allegedly feared for her safety.

Witnesses say the 55-pound Belgian Malinois was leashed and fully compliant when Noem drew her personal Sig Sauer 9mm — hot pink, of course — and fired three rounds into the dog’s back.

Noem, who famously admitted in her 2024 memoir to executing her 14-month-old puppy Cricket for being “untrainable,” defended the act as a matter of self-defense.

“I feared for my life,” Noem said while readjusting clip-in extensions and reapplying bronzer. “And frankly, that animal was wild and probably would not have been a very good hunting dog, anyway.”

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