Chief’s ‘sea stories’ include at least 4 felonies

SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Navy Information Systems Technician Chief Toby “Tobasco” McElhenny has been in the Navy for over 14 years, and in that time has accumulated plenty of résumé-friendly accomplishments: meeting three former presidents, visiting six continents, mentoring countless division officers, and being named Sailor of the Year twice. But McElhenny rarely mentions any of that.

Instead, the chief prefers to regale junior sailors with port-call stories and sea tales that routinely implicate him and several others in federal felonies and international crimes. 

“One time, we stuffed a J-girl in my buddy’s sea bag, kept her tucked away for about a month, and then dropped her off in the Philippines with just a few pesos pinned to her collar,” McElhenny said, laughing while recalling one deployment. “Good times. Old-time Navy. Can’t do that now.”

McElhenny was referring to a 2016 deployment to Seventh Fleet, a Pacific cruise that appears to implicate him in human trafficking, kidnapping, aggravated assault, and possibly murder. The woman’s age, condition, and continued existence remain unclear.

Despite this, sailors frequently approach McElhenny to hear his colorful stories and “learn more about the Navy.” One junior sailor, IT3 Cameron Civilotti, said he enjoys listening to the chief but has questions about the accuracy of the tales.

“Prostitution is illegal, so I really hope he’s joking about picking up hookers in Phuket,” Civilotti said. “And I really hope he was kidding when he said he accidentally ran over an old Greek woman in Souda Bay.”

Civilotti’s naïveté appears to amuse McElhenny, who insists that all of his stories are completely true. Civilotti, however, remains unconvinced.

“Chief cracks me up,” Civilotti said. “But if he did even half of what he talks about, I feel like I should call the police. Or the U.N.” Civilotti added, frantically Googling on his phone, “Is it too late to report something to Interpol?”

McElhenny maintains that his stories are verifiable but denies any wrongdoing, citing his multiple deployments and decorated service record as evidence of his moral character.

“I’ve deployed nine times in 14 years, so sue me if I want a little butter on my buns when we pull into port,” McElhenny said while taking his daily dose of Valtrex. “I don’t think that makes me the bad guy for wanting a little fun while defending freedom and democracy around the world.”

Civilotti said he is also disturbed by some of the less sensational stories McElhenny tells.

“Chief Tobasco once walked me through how easy it is to hack ATMs in Singapore,” Civilotti recalled. “Which I’m pretty sure is a serious cybercrime, but surely a senior enlisted member of the U.S. Navy wouldn’t break the law that casually. Right?”